Let go of what "should" be

The expectations of what SHOULD BE kill us.


I've had this notion in my head that one day I wouldn't have emotional highs and lows.

I thought that maybe once I get to this particular arbitrary level of success, hotness, emotional fulfillment, intelligence

That i would no longer have ups and downs.

Like... damn I learned how to be tapped in,

Why am i not just eternally tapped in?

I'm doing my purpose work,

I dont have a boss, a schedule...

Shouldn't I be stable now?

Haven't i acquired enough information, coaching, therapy, healing,

And i should just be a perfect butterfly now??

But the reality is.... having THAT as the bar,

Is setting yourself up for a lose-lose situation

It puts you in a position to resist the low's when when they inevitably arrive

You think, this should not be here!

Haven't i passed this level yet?

Haven't I learned enough, struggled enough, etc... To overcome this part of my humanity??

Im not talking about "happiness" btw.

That is so trite

Happiness is different.

Im talking about emotional stability and connectedness.

But when you are a creator, someone who is extremely sensitive,

You're not just sensitive to the good, the benevolent, the delightful,

You're sensitive to all available realities.

So if we just expect the "dark side" to circle back every so often,

Make its cycle...

And that is just part of life,

How much easier would its passing be?

I have integrated this motto into my life...

Go up when the waves go up, go down when the waves go down.

I remember being on a jet ski in Biscayne Bay years ago right around the time i learned this philosophy

And i felt it in literal form

Going up and down with the waves,

And as long as i didn't resist the bumps, the ride was smooth

I feel that in the car too on a regular basis

But it's a metaphor for life.

And now im like DUHH, lets implement this with the "dark side" moments too.

Anything you resist persists.

The dark side will make its cycle and come back,

We can name it, expect it, and maybe even create a ritual around it.

What can be accomplished or created while the dark side is present?

A lotttt of art comes out of emptiness

But we also get to choose to shift

As quickly as it comes, it can go

It's a discipline to bring ourselves back to what other realities we know are available

Its a discipline to decide to choose another reality

And you can tell yourself...

I flip flop so easily

It is what it is... so what do i choose now?

Because i can flip so quickly either way

It can become a practice to allow the feelings,

And then to choose something different

And the more I keep redirecting,

The more i code this pattern of shifting into myself

The more it becomes automatic, and less of a ride.

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